The truth is finally revealed. Although I had prepare myself for stage 4 cancer and probably 3 months left and most deadly lung cancer, but I had prayed that it will not be the deadliest of this. When he shared with me the shocking news and journey he went through, from back ache to pain relief clinic to MRI, immediate referral to oncologist although it is already after office hour , to CT scan and finding the cancer marker on his lung. It must have been a scary and devastating journey for him to go through it alone. It would be for anyone.
He insisted that this is the best that we should not continue our relationship and it will be too painful for him or me. I would be able to forget about him if we just break off now. How could I do that to the love of my life? To the one who had provided me the best thing I had ever had in my entire life. I insisted my stand but promised him I will seriously give it a thought.
He has approximately 7 months time left if the oral treatment managed to shrink the tumor he might have a year ? If he is lucky , he might have survival 2 to 5 years but the probability is very small. I felt that he is still in shocked although he said he had past the stage and prepare to die. I want to be there to encourage him to fight this battle bravely. To have hope that anything is possible. This is not the time to push it. We will just need to wait for the next test result to see the suitability of the oral treatment to fight the cancer in him. I can only chant daily and I am embarking on 1 million daimoku before his treatment ends so that he will stay positive and courageous to fight this.
I had promised him if he allow me to walk the journey with him , I will not waste my time and life but continue what I do daily and just spent the time with him when he is available, as he needs to get a lot of stuff done at this moment.
What am I feeling now ? I just wish now that he is a liar that had cheated my feelings. At least he will live and my hurt will past eventually..life does not work in this way.
I read about angiogenesis inhibitors a way to starve the tumor. It seems hopeful. How should I approach it to him? I need to find a way and show him the video I just saw. It can complement the oral treatment he will be going through. I must win for him coz I truly love him...even for additional 1 more day ...
He insisted that this is the best that we should not continue our relationship and it will be too painful for him or me. I would be able to forget about him if we just break off now. How could I do that to the love of my life? To the one who had provided me the best thing I had ever had in my entire life. I insisted my stand but promised him I will seriously give it a thought.
He has approximately 7 months time left if the oral treatment managed to shrink the tumor he might have a year ? If he is lucky , he might have survival 2 to 5 years but the probability is very small. I felt that he is still in shocked although he said he had past the stage and prepare to die. I want to be there to encourage him to fight this battle bravely. To have hope that anything is possible. This is not the time to push it. We will just need to wait for the next test result to see the suitability of the oral treatment to fight the cancer in him. I can only chant daily and I am embarking on 1 million daimoku before his treatment ends so that he will stay positive and courageous to fight this.
I had promised him if he allow me to walk the journey with him , I will not waste my time and life but continue what I do daily and just spent the time with him when he is available, as he needs to get a lot of stuff done at this moment.
What am I feeling now ? I just wish now that he is a liar that had cheated my feelings. At least he will live and my hurt will past eventually..life does not work in this way.
I read about angiogenesis inhibitors a way to starve the tumor. It seems hopeful. How should I approach it to him? I need to find a way and show him the video I just saw. It can complement the oral treatment he will be going through. I must win for him coz I truly love him...even for additional 1 more day ...
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