This morning I woke up hopeful again . I believe last few days I was kinda still in shocked and the news kinda starting to sink in. Yesterday in Yangoon was the worst. The tear tank just would not stop flowing . It got to the point that my eyes was so tired and I nearly needed to sleep. So I did sleep from 7 plus evening till next morning 430am. Although I still have interrupted sleep but I am glad I had a good rest.
Today I managed to control my emotions , went to the gym too although only 30 minutes and managed to chant 3 hours of joyfull Daimoku. I even managed to join the team for a very delicious southern Indian food . Although it's not really southern Indian if one order naan, butter chicken, aloo gobi and paneer curry....lol..anyway it was a good dinner and time spend with them . The hotel staff was nice to pack all remaining food in a separate boxes. I went out of the hotel offering the beautifully packed boxes to passer by. It took me a while after approaching 3 people before someone finally took the boxes of food . They must be thinking what this weird Chinese girl was on doing on the street. Anyway I am glad the man finally took it after I open the box and showed him the food .
I text to ask him if he wants me to go over and spend the night at his place tomorrow. He replied no need. Hmm...just like that... I am not upset but glad that he at least replied . At least my emotions are more settled today. I will still try my best daily and patiently to meet him. I know he must have missed me a lot but at the same time still could not decide if he wants me to go through it with him. I can even feel that he is beginning to fight this battle. I think this must be what people called positive energy transmitting around one who is hopeful. Tomorrow is another day. I am thinking if I should pursue to go although he say no... I must think sensibly and not using my heart only. ..although my heart tells me to go even though if he will get angry ...should I ?
Today I managed to control my emotions , went to the gym too although only 30 minutes and managed to chant 3 hours of joyfull Daimoku. I even managed to join the team for a very delicious southern Indian food . Although it's not really southern Indian if one order naan, butter chicken, aloo gobi and paneer curry....lol..anyway it was a good dinner and time spend with them . The hotel staff was nice to pack all remaining food in a separate boxes. I went out of the hotel offering the beautifully packed boxes to passer by. It took me a while after approaching 3 people before someone finally took the boxes of food . They must be thinking what this weird Chinese girl was on doing on the street. Anyway I am glad the man finally took it after I open the box and showed him the food .
I text to ask him if he wants me to go over and spend the night at his place tomorrow. He replied no need. Hmm...just like that... I am not upset but glad that he at least replied . At least my emotions are more settled today. I will still try my best daily and patiently to meet him. I know he must have missed me a lot but at the same time still could not decide if he wants me to go through it with him. I can even feel that he is beginning to fight this battle. I think this must be what people called positive energy transmitting around one who is hopeful. Tomorrow is another day. I am thinking if I should pursue to go although he say no... I must think sensibly and not using my heart only. ..although my heart tells me to go even though if he will get angry ...should I ?
No comments:
Post a Comment