He finally replied to me after much persistence or probably there was something I said in the WhatsApp that ticks his nerve to want to reply me. Either way it does not matter. As long as he reply me. Although the reply was not very encouraging but it gave me an opportunity to share my view to him about the people around him who still care for him . I guess pushing him and keepp telling him daily, I miss and love him might be overwhelming for him at this point of time as he could not reciprocate the feelings although he wants to do it. He still refuses to allow me to visit or meet him. I will just have to continue to try again next week. I will probably give him a break this week.
I had felt much inspired and motivated to be with him irregardless of the outcome between us. For now, I will assume the position as a caring "friend". Nothing more than that. I just want him to continue to have hope to fight as I believe there is a possibility of him living longer than 5 years with the tumor in him. He just need to fight and live on. I just need to continue to receive his rejection and negativity till the day he finally cuts me out and probably hate me for bugging him. I know deep down he will understand that my intentions are good and its out of love to him that I am doing all these. The flight onboard to Manila went well and smooth although I did not have much sleep last night.
I am currenty writing at the lobby lounge of the Hyatt City of Dreams. Both the pilots had choosen to take a rest in the room. I find it too troublesome and waste of money to pay USD170 just for a few hours. I might as well just stay in the lobby to get some work done. I had not been organizing my mails and stuff for the past 3 weeks, I was not motivated to do anything. I just wanted to rot and drown myself in sorrow. It's time to get my life organized. I had even managed to have a good chat with Lisa and its like the way it used to be, us talking bout our flight and life. I feel like normal. Adeline had suddenly text me today to chat and encouraged me to write ot Sensei. I should probably share to him . He is like a father to me . Although he might be too busy to reply but I know he will chant for me to be victorious.
I had felt much inspired and motivated to be with him irregardless of the outcome between us. For now, I will assume the position as a caring "friend". Nothing more than that. I just want him to continue to have hope to fight as I believe there is a possibility of him living longer than 5 years with the tumor in him. He just need to fight and live on. I just need to continue to receive his rejection and negativity till the day he finally cuts me out and probably hate me for bugging him. I know deep down he will understand that my intentions are good and its out of love to him that I am doing all these. The flight onboard to Manila went well and smooth although I did not have much sleep last night.
I am currenty writing at the lobby lounge of the Hyatt City of Dreams. Both the pilots had choosen to take a rest in the room. I find it too troublesome and waste of money to pay USD170 just for a few hours. I might as well just stay in the lobby to get some work done. I had not been organizing my mails and stuff for the past 3 weeks, I was not motivated to do anything. I just wanted to rot and drown myself in sorrow. It's time to get my life organized. I had even managed to have a good chat with Lisa and its like the way it used to be, us talking bout our flight and life. I feel like normal. Adeline had suddenly text me today to chat and encouraged me to write ot Sensei. I should probably share to him . He is like a father to me . Although he might be too busy to reply but I know he will chant for me to be victorious.
Me , myself and laptop in the lounge
There is always unexpected things happening in daily life. It is how one perceive it... I just flew 4 "lechon" back from Manila. One of the staff was kind to invite me to office on Friday to collect premium durian from Malaysia . It does make my day and at the same time I thought of Freddy too. He would had been excited bout the "lechon " and probably asked me to get him a portion to go with beer . At this stage it's different . He no longer could enjoy such delicacy and need to focus on eating healthy. I did shared with one of the younger staff when I saw him smoking, to cut down coz it will hurt his love ones when he is sick, just like what happened to Freddy now . I really hope my daily sharing will enable Freddy to understand that there's much more to life and he needs to fight it and I will live better coz that's what he wants . I love Freddy and will always love him .
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