This morning I refuse to wake up. I was supposed to attempt my 10 hours marathon chanting but I just refuse to wake up. I had a full day yesterday, US Embassy, breakfast at Paul Pattiserie, chanting at SYC, durian a office, Byakuren daimokukai at my place... I was so busy that my mind is still thinking of him. I miss him...
I finally decided to wake up at noon and clear the dishes form yesterday evening. I had been eating a lot lately and I just weight myself this at noon. Even after finishing whatever balance of the nyonya kueh from yesterday gathering and ate so much durian, my weight is still 49.5 kgs.
I think I should get my body checked soon to see if there is something wrong with me. I managed to chant 2 solid hours of daimoku although I had intended to do 10 hours. Decided to take. A break and watch a movie in my IPad , 巴黎假期 . Had downloaded the movie for sometime and decide to open a bottle to go with the movie. I even cooked a kimchi noodles with 2 eggs to go with the wine and movie, had 2 espresso and a timtam chocolate.
Now I guess you all believe that when I say I had been eating junk. There was a time I refuse to eat coz I hated food and viewed that all food is killing me and causing the cancer in a human being. Now I am loading myself with junk coz I want to get cancer. How ironic is it? The movie was very meaningful, it tells a story of a heartbreak but both main character lives through it, it also tells a story of a love loss just like me and Freddy. I had shared with Freddy to watch it if he has time. I hope that he will understand that it's not about forever but finding the soulmate. I found my soulmate and its him Freddy Phua Cheng Kiat.
Lucretia came over and visit me today. She shared that it is my karma and Freddy's karma to go through this challenge. She suggested me to look at the perspective that he might have a mission too, for him to meet me before all these happened. I have a mission to share this to him. Although the main challenge now would be to meet him to share this view to him. I just have to based my daimoku to enable me to open his view on this perspective. I also need to ensure that he is happy so he could fight the tumor. I should probably suggest to watch comedy to enable him to laugh and be happy to produce more happy hormone to fight the cancer .
Yes I will do that ... tonight going to bed and hoping that next week he will agree to meet up...miss him a lot...
I finally decided to wake up at noon and clear the dishes form yesterday evening. I had been eating a lot lately and I just weight myself this at noon. Even after finishing whatever balance of the nyonya kueh from yesterday gathering and ate so much durian, my weight is still 49.5 kgs.
I think I should get my body checked soon to see if there is something wrong with me. I managed to chant 2 solid hours of daimoku although I had intended to do 10 hours. Decided to take. A break and watch a movie in my IPad , 巴黎假期 . Had downloaded the movie for sometime and decide to open a bottle to go with the movie. I even cooked a kimchi noodles with 2 eggs to go with the wine and movie, had 2 espresso and a timtam chocolate.
Now I guess you all believe that when I say I had been eating junk. There was a time I refuse to eat coz I hated food and viewed that all food is killing me and causing the cancer in a human being. Now I am loading myself with junk coz I want to get cancer. How ironic is it? The movie was very meaningful, it tells a story of a heartbreak but both main character lives through it, it also tells a story of a love loss just like me and Freddy. I had shared with Freddy to watch it if he has time. I hope that he will understand that it's not about forever but finding the soulmate. I found my soulmate and its him Freddy Phua Cheng Kiat.
Lucretia came over and visit me today. She shared that it is my karma and Freddy's karma to go through this challenge. She suggested me to look at the perspective that he might have a mission too, for him to meet me before all these happened. I have a mission to share this to him. Although the main challenge now would be to meet him to share this view to him. I just have to based my daimoku to enable me to open his view on this perspective. I also need to ensure that he is happy so he could fight the tumor. I should probably suggest to watch comedy to enable him to laugh and be happy to produce more happy hormone to fight the cancer .
Yes I will do that ... tonight going to bed and hoping that next week he will agree to meet up...miss him a lot...
No comments:
Post a Comment