Although I know it's only Day 2 towards my path of recovery but I still could not accept the fact that it's over. Is it ? There was no answer or reply from him. It is all me making the decision. Does it matter ?
The journey the taxi took today to office reminded me of our first journey to meet up to buy Yong Tau Foo on the 2nd day of our relationship. The same morning, it rained so heavily when we were walking to have brunch. He was hugging me so tightly when he was holding the umbrella for both of us. I felt so safe and secured knowing that he was there. I can't help to look out the window everytime if there was a very very dark blue car. That's how he describe the color if his car. "It's not black bi ! It's very very dark blue".
While holding my mum's hand walking or going up the escalator, I can't help to think of him. That his hand is always there once we leave the car and him hugging me while we are going up or down the escalator. How can one be thinking of someone so much that it's beginning to sound like an obsession .
My body is still adjusting to moving back to my normal self. Yesterday started to purge after dinner. I am not sure if my body is healing slowly adjusting due to lack of food since I had not taken regular meal for the past 1 week. Today after lunch, the body is purging again. I felt bad that I could not finish what I ordered. At least I ate half the portion . Knees are weak due to purging but I hope that I am better tonight to go for my class. I don't want miss the class coz I am more high spirited after the class.
The journey the taxi took today to office reminded me of our first journey to meet up to buy Yong Tau Foo on the 2nd day of our relationship. The same morning, it rained so heavily when we were walking to have brunch. He was hugging me so tightly when he was holding the umbrella for both of us. I felt so safe and secured knowing that he was there. I can't help to look out the window everytime if there was a very very dark blue car. That's how he describe the color if his car. "It's not black bi ! It's very very dark blue".
While holding my mum's hand walking or going up the escalator, I can't help to think of him. That his hand is always there once we leave the car and him hugging me while we are going up or down the escalator. How can one be thinking of someone so much that it's beginning to sound like an obsession .
My body is still adjusting to moving back to my normal self. Yesterday started to purge after dinner. I am not sure if my body is healing slowly adjusting due to lack of food since I had not taken regular meal for the past 1 week. Today after lunch, the body is purging again. I felt bad that I could not finish what I ordered. At least I ate half the portion . Knees are weak due to purging but I hope that I am better tonight to go for my class. I don't want miss the class coz I am more high spirited after the class.
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