I suddenly feel very sad to know the possibility outcome of what would happen to him. The only way I could be stronger is to chant to have a strong faith. To chant for the courage and strength to have the fighting spirit to walk with him.
First I must chant abundant daimoku and find the guidance that I could be able to be strong and encourage him when I meet him on Monday, him to have the courage to be fully "naked" with me. Naked in this context is not physically not wearing a single piece of clothing but opening up his soul, sharing his thoughts and fear with me. I am not sure of the outcome of Monday. I need to have the strong conviction and faith that he will allow me to walk the path with him.
I began to understand the path I had gone through these past 3 weeks. Why I had to endure so much hurt and sadness to arrive to this moment of truth. The journey I had walked for the past 3 weeks is to enable me to build a strong inner state of life ...human revolution. ..to face this news from him. I believe now that if I were to receive this news 3 weeks ago I would break down and will not be able to be his pillar of strength.
I had chanted 3 hours daimoku today and read Sensei's Discussion on Youth: Life and Death to give me the strength to think positively till the day I get to see and hear him say his piece. It had also open up my mind to be able to accept the challenges he might be facing. I believe his main challenges would be more to mentally not able to provide and care for me as time is of essence now. It does not matter to me the "time " left. What matter most is to be able to fully spent the remaining time we have left and leave a lasting memories . He is the best thing that had ever happened in my life and I want to fight alongside him till the end. I had kinda set a few steps of planning to our next path but I need to meet him on Monday to decide on the situation before we could plan the next path.
For this 2 days , I really need prayers from all of you who are reading this that he will have the courage to be "naked" with me and accept my request to walk the path with him. Thank you
First I must chant abundant daimoku and find the guidance that I could be able to be strong and encourage him when I meet him on Monday, him to have the courage to be fully "naked" with me. Naked in this context is not physically not wearing a single piece of clothing but opening up his soul, sharing his thoughts and fear with me. I am not sure of the outcome of Monday. I need to have the strong conviction and faith that he will allow me to walk the path with him.
I began to understand the path I had gone through these past 3 weeks. Why I had to endure so much hurt and sadness to arrive to this moment of truth. The journey I had walked for the past 3 weeks is to enable me to build a strong inner state of life ...human revolution. ..to face this news from him. I believe now that if I were to receive this news 3 weeks ago I would break down and will not be able to be his pillar of strength.
I had chanted 3 hours daimoku today and read Sensei's Discussion on Youth: Life and Death to give me the strength to think positively till the day I get to see and hear him say his piece. It had also open up my mind to be able to accept the challenges he might be facing. I believe his main challenges would be more to mentally not able to provide and care for me as time is of essence now. It does not matter to me the "time " left. What matter most is to be able to fully spent the remaining time we have left and leave a lasting memories . He is the best thing that had ever happened in my life and I want to fight alongside him till the end. I had kinda set a few steps of planning to our next path but I need to meet him on Monday to decide on the situation before we could plan the next path.
For this 2 days , I really need prayers from all of you who are reading this that he will have the courage to be "naked" with me and accept my request to walk the path with him. Thank you
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