Continue to be strong for my "bi" ...

I did not want to wake up yesterday or this morning, or go to Seletar yesterday to get the work done. I am not sure why I am feeling this way. It was alright for the past few days.  I am worried that I might be going down towards the path of depression. I miss him a lot . It's really not easy not having him to acknowledge my support for him. Will I be able to hold on and be strong ? Will I be so weak that I will jump to Jeremy the next time he text me? Although knowing that my love is only towards my "bi" now. I feel so lonely yesterday night. At least I did not starve myself like previously.  I even juice to ensure I have the sufficient nutrients yesterday.

This morning my boss called to wake me up. He was my shoten zenjin today, he also made my day by not asking me to prepare any food for tomorrow's flight back to Singapore. I felt being taken care although the person I wish was my "bi". Anyway I was glad for the call boss, coz I still refuse to get out of bed after 930am. Going to work and meeting my colleagues and seeing them happy on board makes me feel better today. Bi has not responded bout the possibility of meeting me this Sunday or next week. I had been hopeful till now. I am just worried that he might not be feeling too well and did not want me to see him when he us weak. I had chanted 2 hours after dinner and hopefully my prayers will give him strength.