Celebrating his birthday from a distance

What happened yesterday on 11th August 2016? It is my "bi" birthday . As I shared previous day, I was at his condo waiting for him to be back to pass him the "birthday gift (chanting beads)", he assured me(I would not say promised ) that he will meet me yesterday at 930am at my place and asked me to go back and not wait for him I'm the middle of the night. I was still in bed at 930am yesterday morning,  too tired and probably I just refuse to wake up knowing that he might not come and see me. I was right bout him not coming to see me 😟. Although disappointed but I was not entirely upset.  I kinda predicted and partly I am too tired mentally to be upset . I just found out yesterday that one can even be too tired mentally to be angry or upset😀does that mean I don't care anymore ??? He shared that he did drive to my place but along the way he felt pressurised and decided to turn back coz he really does not want me to see him at his condition  of emotionally unstable, lethargic, fatigue and weak. I wonder why ? Did he think I will love him less? Did he think I will pity him ? I already told him numerous times that I care and not pity . Both are different. What did I do the whole day? Well, I was supposed to go to Orchard to get more grocery for the coming Africa trip.  So I decided to cook his birthday meal and send to him. I forgot to take a picture of it though. I need to be more diligent in taking photos especially since I just got myself a new Samsung S7 edge. No iPhone for me till today . Still refuse to get one . I nearly wanted to get one coz I want to face time my "bi" but since he refuse to even see me , what more talk bout face time (this phrase is very slang ). Back to his birthday meal. I was at his condo bout 330pm. Send him a message no reply.  I thought he was probably still sleeping at home. So I waited and waited, went up to his unit and wanted to leave the stuff at the door but I was not entirely 100% sure if I had remembered it correctly his unit number. So I waited till 5 plus when he reply.  Initially there was a debate, he ask to leave the stuff at the guard post, I wanted to leave at his door coz I tried the night before to leave the beads and they refuse to take it, he insist and will call security to keep coz cleaner might throw the stuff if I leave at his door. In the end, I just left the stuff at his door and leave . Don't want to argue or cause a commotion  at security post. One thing that still puzzled me is why are there so many pairs of slipper and a few female sandals outside his unit ? Is he staying with someone ? Is there a reason  why he had refused me to go to his place till now coz he is actually staying with someone ? Am I thinking too much ? It did not bother me yesterday but this morning it is kinda bugging me. Do I want to ask him ? I am not sure now.

Anyway I had a good meal with a glass of wine for diner yesterday and send him the photo

He replied that enjoyed the dinner I send him, appreciate my effort & it was one of the best birthday dinner he ever had . I was closed to tears of happiness. I am such a hopeless sucker and so easily contented 😀😄. Am I?  Although he send me an encouraging reply,  deep down I know it's not going to go back to our pre-cancer situation. He will still refuse to see me and only reply my message when he feels like it. Sometimes I wonder how long do I have to endure this ? How long can I be patient over this situation?  Will I give up on him one day ? Time will tell .