How should I put this? It's finally over. The end. I had hold on the belief of what he had shared all along, choosing to believe in him even though there were signs and stuff he shared that were misleading...this time I really saw it with my own eyes. This is how the story goes...
I was out with Bruno for dinner and we walked through Isetan at Shaw Centre. I saw him, passed by me close enough, holding hands with his ex-wife like a couple . He did not acknowledge me at all. I ran towards the mall, by then they were not holding hands, probably he realised that I will run to them. I called out his name. Both of them turn back. He looked shocked but pretended to be cool. "You are here having dinner with Bruno" I stared at him and walked off. I was shocked and not sure what to say to him. How could he be so calm after realising that I found out ?
Bruno advised not to text or do anything. After an hour the text came. "He was there with his ex-wife to collect a report from the Asia Medic where his cancer was first diagnosed. "He did not explain much . I was still furious and send him a message cursing him on the holding hands. After a few exchanges he insist to come to meet me immediately to talk. He insisted that both (he and his ex) has a very long history of close relationship that at times he could not even explain and it's no big deal they were holding hands ....wtf??? He asked me to calm down and think of what he had shared and done in the past few months. I was furious and called P (his friend that I was supposed to meet for coffee tomorrow) and asked if she knows anything bout his marriage. She shared that he told her his wife had passed on 6 years ago due to lung cancer and he had not dated anyone since then. I was shocked and she was too when I say I bumped into him and his ex-wife and I am currently dating him. He found out that I asked P and created this drama. He blamed me that I caused the fall out of friendship between he and P. He even try to justify his actions at Isetan and insisted that he already told me bout his illness and there is no future between me and him. The stuff he told me when we were at the beach for the talk sounded so different from what he used to share with me in the beginning of our relationship. I know then that that night at the beach is the end and it's really over between us. He even warned me that he knows this day will arrive whereby I will lose the patience on walking the path with him. He kinda blamed me for what and how it ended, kinda insisted it's really me causing all the drama.
We walked back and he refused to hold my hands. That is the 1st time that I had walked behind him and looking at his back. I really felt alone then. He even refused to hold my hands in the car for the last time when I requested...he did give in when we are nearing to the house. I was crying inside knowing it's ending and walked out of the car. I am suddenly tired but at the same time still feel that I should not blame him since he is going through this sickness. I even wish him all the best and to continue to fight on and I will continue to send my prayers to him...
Not until I met P today for coffee that I discovered a whole new story that he had been hanging out with her 3 times in the past months , out drinking and dining (not according to him that he had not been eating much n losing weight, although he does not look like it), been chatty and energetic and does not look sick at all (although he constantly say he is tired and resting at home beside working and volunteering), shared that he had started volunteers 2 times on weekdays n once on weekends since his wife passed on lung cancer 6 years ago, lots and lots of other stuff...I really could not believe what I hear. I had been so foolish believing in all his words and even there were times signs showing doubts, to never doubt if one had choosen the path of loving and walking the path of sickness with him.
Recalling all the stuff he shared previously bout he once told me that he was in the hospital on Sunday for scan (possible) , stuck in clinic at 5 pm on Sunday for doctors appointment, shared in early August that he had the worst cancer lung, brain and pancreatic, shared later in early September that he had cancer all over lung ,lymph nodes and glands but luckily not in any organs or brain (according to my gf going through relapse in cancer that one do not forget ownself diagnosis and oncologist do not diagnose wrongly too) the list goes on, it seems the lies is never ending. I had really been blinded choosing to believe it all.
I am really tired and now I am relief to see the truth in him. Part of me still want to think he has cancer but part of me is tired with his ongoing lies. This is the story of me and Freddy ...the lies and foolishness I had put myself into.
I was out with Bruno for dinner and we walked through Isetan at Shaw Centre. I saw him, passed by me close enough, holding hands with his ex-wife like a couple . He did not acknowledge me at all. I ran towards the mall, by then they were not holding hands, probably he realised that I will run to them. I called out his name. Both of them turn back. He looked shocked but pretended to be cool. "You are here having dinner with Bruno" I stared at him and walked off. I was shocked and not sure what to say to him. How could he be so calm after realising that I found out ?
Bruno advised not to text or do anything. After an hour the text came. "He was there with his ex-wife to collect a report from the Asia Medic where his cancer was first diagnosed. "He did not explain much . I was still furious and send him a message cursing him on the holding hands. After a few exchanges he insist to come to meet me immediately to talk. He insisted that both (he and his ex) has a very long history of close relationship that at times he could not even explain and it's no big deal they were holding hands ....wtf??? He asked me to calm down and think of what he had shared and done in the past few months. I was furious and called P (his friend that I was supposed to meet for coffee tomorrow) and asked if she knows anything bout his marriage. She shared that he told her his wife had passed on 6 years ago due to lung cancer and he had not dated anyone since then. I was shocked and she was too when I say I bumped into him and his ex-wife and I am currently dating him. He found out that I asked P and created this drama. He blamed me that I caused the fall out of friendship between he and P. He even try to justify his actions at Isetan and insisted that he already told me bout his illness and there is no future between me and him. The stuff he told me when we were at the beach for the talk sounded so different from what he used to share with me in the beginning of our relationship. I know then that that night at the beach is the end and it's really over between us. He even warned me that he knows this day will arrive whereby I will lose the patience on walking the path with him. He kinda blamed me for what and how it ended, kinda insisted it's really me causing all the drama.
We walked back and he refused to hold my hands. That is the 1st time that I had walked behind him and looking at his back. I really felt alone then. He even refused to hold my hands in the car for the last time when I requested...he did give in when we are nearing to the house. I was crying inside knowing it's ending and walked out of the car. I am suddenly tired but at the same time still feel that I should not blame him since he is going through this sickness. I even wish him all the best and to continue to fight on and I will continue to send my prayers to him...
Not until I met P today for coffee that I discovered a whole new story that he had been hanging out with her 3 times in the past months , out drinking and dining (not according to him that he had not been eating much n losing weight, although he does not look like it), been chatty and energetic and does not look sick at all (although he constantly say he is tired and resting at home beside working and volunteering), shared that he had started volunteers 2 times on weekdays n once on weekends since his wife passed on lung cancer 6 years ago, lots and lots of other stuff...I really could not believe what I hear. I had been so foolish believing in all his words and even there were times signs showing doubts, to never doubt if one had choosen the path of loving and walking the path of sickness with him.
Recalling all the stuff he shared previously bout he once told me that he was in the hospital on Sunday for scan (possible) , stuck in clinic at 5 pm on Sunday for doctors appointment, shared in early August that he had the worst cancer lung, brain and pancreatic, shared later in early September that he had cancer all over lung ,lymph nodes and glands but luckily not in any organs or brain (according to my gf going through relapse in cancer that one do not forget ownself diagnosis and oncologist do not diagnose wrongly too) the list goes on, it seems the lies is never ending. I had really been blinded choosing to believe it all.
I am really tired and now I am relief to see the truth in him. Part of me still want to think he has cancer but part of me is tired with his ongoing lies. This is the story of me and Freddy ...the lies and foolishness I had put myself into.
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