Stop my silly ACT now

I had decided to share again. I hope it helps me to move on and let the time passes faster since everyone says that "time will heal "... I had written to him on Monday 12th of September. It was supposed to mark out 4th month anniversary of being together.  How silly of me? Who would have celebrated such event monthly but I was counting the days since we had been together.  I think I probably jinx it by counting down.  I had written to ask for clarification and at the same time kinda vent my sorrow, it had not turn out well. I beelieve I played a role in igniting the animality and devil in him. His reply was very hurtful and mean as if it was piercing through my heart. I was very hurt. It took me a day or 2 to get my mind clear. Luckiky it was F1 week and I was kept busy throughout the event. I did not jad much time to think or react as i had been kept busy helping out and at the same time sorting out my own work stuff plus meeting up my friends from Malaysia and catching up with my sleep.

I was even invited to Paddock Club by my best friend Lisa. It was an interesting experience and on other occasion I would be ecstatic but this time just another day to fatten myself and get drunk. As i shared beforehand, I do not drink and eat in fact  I would starve myself when I am down and sad. So its a good opportunity and excuse to do the opposite. I made another silly stupid act of sending a very very pathetic sms to him. This has really got to stop. I am beginning to hate myself for acting like this. I need to restrain myself and stop harassing him. I really felt that I an harrasing him since he never reply me at all.