The power of daimoku and chanting is similar to the action of accumulating good fortune in a tank. When you need it, it will be there for one's disposal.
I would never had imagined the insight and benefit gained from today's duty at SPC. I was still contemplating/doubtful if I am able to perform today's duty as main IC for the Pre training study for M&D at SPC. It was as if the 1 hour daimoku I performed today had called out all the shoten zenjin into my life.
Li Ping text to check on me before I went out for the duty. She encouraged me to seek the guidance from a WD on the issue I was facing. I am not even sure what was it that I am facing. Therefore I would not be able to chant for the answer. Seeking guidance would enable WD to share with me the best way to chant and focus for the answer.
Shan lifted my spirit before the duty commence when she informed me that I was the one that inspired her to be joyful and vibrant from the last Gohonzon Confernment duty we had performed together. I was even more surprised to meet an old friend from NDP 2012 today. Angeline Ho saw that I lost so much weight and asked about me. I shared briefly that I am going through some personal struggles and probably a mild depression. She shared that she had went rock bottom depression right after NDP 2012 when she was 39 years old. Her depression was so severe that she could not even do anything, not even chanting. She shared a bit insight about people like us, bubbly, high spirited, almost perfectionist, efficient, former FA and so on. The depression just hit her from nowhere without notice or symptoms. She was diagnosed by psychiatrist that it was due to the lack of endorphine in the person. We could not chat too long as I was on duty. We agree to come out and talk about it. It was as if I had meant to be there today to meet her again. She is glad that I am still holding on and able to go on with my daily life although there are symptoms similar to her.
I realised I might have anxiety issue in my life as I tend to talk fast, walk fast, work fast and even typing with 4 fingers I am so fast that people tend to comment what happens when I type with 10 fingers lol...Even my boss commented that the way I work is so efficient and fast lol...I think I really need to slow down in my life and take a breather
At least I am kinda relief that I know it is not entirely about my family coz I nearly wanted to load the whole chunk of my misery to them which I find it very very unfair to them. I nearly said something quite nasty to my baby sister. I retracted and shared I just don't want to discuss about it. At least I am feeling better than I was in the afternoon. Let's hope tomorrow will be another calm day for me.
I would never had imagined the insight and benefit gained from today's duty at SPC. I was still contemplating/doubtful if I am able to perform today's duty as main IC for the Pre training study for M&D at SPC. It was as if the 1 hour daimoku I performed today had called out all the shoten zenjin into my life.
Li Ping text to check on me before I went out for the duty. She encouraged me to seek the guidance from a WD on the issue I was facing. I am not even sure what was it that I am facing. Therefore I would not be able to chant for the answer. Seeking guidance would enable WD to share with me the best way to chant and focus for the answer.
Shan lifted my spirit before the duty commence when she informed me that I was the one that inspired her to be joyful and vibrant from the last Gohonzon Confernment duty we had performed together. I was even more surprised to meet an old friend from NDP 2012 today. Angeline Ho saw that I lost so much weight and asked about me. I shared briefly that I am going through some personal struggles and probably a mild depression. She shared that she had went rock bottom depression right after NDP 2012 when she was 39 years old. Her depression was so severe that she could not even do anything, not even chanting. She shared a bit insight about people like us, bubbly, high spirited, almost perfectionist, efficient, former FA and so on. The depression just hit her from nowhere without notice or symptoms. She was diagnosed by psychiatrist that it was due to the lack of endorphine in the person. We could not chat too long as I was on duty. We agree to come out and talk about it. It was as if I had meant to be there today to meet her again. She is glad that I am still holding on and able to go on with my daily life although there are symptoms similar to her.
I realised I might have anxiety issue in my life as I tend to talk fast, walk fast, work fast and even typing with 4 fingers I am so fast that people tend to comment what happens when I type with 10 fingers lol...Even my boss commented that the way I work is so efficient and fast lol...I think I really need to slow down in my life and take a breather
At least I am kinda relief that I know it is not entirely about my family coz I nearly wanted to load the whole chunk of my misery to them which I find it very very unfair to them. I nearly said something quite nasty to my baby sister. I retracted and shared I just don't want to discuss about it. At least I am feeling better than I was in the afternoon. Let's hope tomorrow will be another calm day for me.
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