Me before U

Decided to watch a movie to clear my mind. Suddenly recall there was a love story "me before you " playing in cinema now. 

How random can it be that I picked a seat away from people and yet someone managed to sit beside me in an almost empty cinema? I guess I was not meant to be crying alone today, if the movie tend to be overwhelming later. Noticed quite a number of single ladies watching this movie alone.

It makes me ponder if they are like me . Looking for an escape in the mind or just it's their usual afternoon get away from work ?

The movie was not as pathetic and sad as I expected. Needed an avenue to release, to cry out loud but there were not many scenes that could make me cry out loud. I had been having difficulties crying out for the past few years. I could not recall any situation in these few years that I really cry out LOUD! Not even when Jeremy lied and cheated on me. Trust me, I tried to cry but the tears just would not come out. Am I turning into this cold hard person that I could not even empathise on myself.  I did cry out once in the toilet of my aircraft. I shall keep that story when related incidents occurs. I only managed to force out a few tears here and there but overall its a story of letting go if you really LoVE someone. Loving someone is not about possessing him/her if it could not make that person happy.

I am still not convinced that I am entirely OK but writing it out really helps me to clear my mind daily. At least it is no longer running through my mind. I went on to read about the symptoms of depression. Just wanted to know if the situation I am facing currently is part of being depressed. It does not seems like I am in depression. The closest I could relate is mild depression due to hormonal changes (which is what I am experiencing now). It is not as serious I would think it to be but at least I am alright. Exercise helps and I should go for a run.